Cognitive Distancing: How to Step Back from Negative Thoughts
“Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that — thoughts.” — Allan Lokos
Do negative thoughts drive your mood, decisions, or day? You’re not alone. The fact is, we have thought patterns that we mistake for real life and this is what controls the way in which we act.
However, a seismic shift is cognitive distancing. It is a way to ‘take a step back’ from your thoughts and look at them in a new light so you’re not getting bogged down in negativity.
Cognitive Distancing is a psychological technique associated with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The key is distancing yourself from those thoughts and seeing them as no more than just thoughts (not facts, truths, or self-assessments).
The fact is that we’re to understand this: Storylines that our minds produce are, more often than not, complete fabrications of the truth.
Imagine observing clouds drift by in the sky. Your thoughts, too, are like clouds. They come and go, but do not let your thoughts decide you. By putting some space between these thoughts, you are able to start observing, questioning, and challenging them rather than assuming that every single one is based on sound reality.
Let’s take a closer look at why they have such a hold over us:
- Survival Mode — Our brains are wired to seek threats/discomfort/negativity. This might have protected our ancestors from danger, but in our daily lives, it can cause stress and insecurity.
- Cycle of Itching: The more you pay attention to an idea, the more powerful it becomes. It becomes a loop in which negative thoughts build on each other to form greater anxiety or more self-doubt.
- Holding Onto Identity: We frequently identify ourselves with our thoughts. When you say, “I’m failing,” you might let it corroborate the lie your head says instead of just a five-minute thought in your day.
Performing Cognitive distancing may seem too much, but let me tell you how we can make cognitive distancing a habit.
- Realize the Thought: The first step is being aware of it. Recognize a bad thought when it jumps out and tell yourself, “It’s just a thought, not the truth.”
- Step Away From That Thought: Now picture yourself taking a step back from it. You can do this in your mind. The secret is to move the experience from its victim state to the observer.
- Challenge the Thought- The fact that you believe something does not make it a reality. Ask yourself:
How factual or faith-based is this thinking?
Do you have any studies that refute this idea?
How would I see this thought if a friend told me the same? - Reframe the thought: Rather than saying, I will never be successful, say success is an (educated) guess, and it requires hard work too.
- Take deep breaths, meditate, or make a body scan — all of these practices help center yourself.
Ultimately — Mastering the Mind is Mastering Your Life
When you can develop this skill, you become more peaceful and empowered to choose your thoughts over feeling trapped in negative thinking.
Experience a little bit of cognitive distancing today! If the next time you have a negative thought, recognize it, challenge it, and release it.
Drop me a comment and let me know — have you ever tried any of the above exercises, and if so, did you even notice any changes in your mood or mindset?
